Proverbs 9:6

" Leave your impoverished confusion and live!

Walk up the street to a life with meaning!" 

Proverbs 9:6 (The Message)

Before I begin, I want to define some of the words in this verse:

 

Leave:  to go away from; to terminate association with

Impoverish: to deprive of strength, richness, or fertility by depleting or draining of something essential

Confused: disoriented with regard to one's sense of time, place, or identity

Live:  to attain eternal life; to be thoroughly absorbed by or involved with

Walk:  to pursue a course of action or way of life; to be or act in association : continue in union

Street:  an environment 

Life:  the sequence of physical and mental experiences that make up the existence of an individual

Meaning: significant quality; especially : implication of a hidden or special significance

Significance:  the quality of being important

Do you ever feel jealous of other people? If the person you're feeling jealous of isn't a Christian what do they really have that you need to feel jealous of? Sure, they may have lots of stuff. Their houses may be gorgeous. They may have the best cars, a big boat, or expensive jewelry. But, do they have what's truly important in life - salvation? If not, they deserve our pity, not our desire. 

The verse I chose to use today tells us that we are to terminate association with a life that is deprived of something essential. A life that isn't sure of it's identity. When we don't have Christ in our hearts, our lives are missing something extremely essential - even if our homes are filled with beautiful things. We can't be sure of our own identities because we don't know the One who identifies us. And we're lacking the true strength that we need to even face our lives!

To live isn't just simply to be alive - to be breathing air. In this verse, Lady Wisdom is inviting us to have eternal life and to be thoroughly absorbed with Wisdom. With God. We can have all the beautiful things in the world, but if we don't have God's Wisdom, what good will it do us? We can't take it with us into the next world! It just becomes junk that our children have to deal with once we're gone. (Not to mention how obsessed we can become with the stuff we have - kids want to play in the house? Oh - they better not or they might break the big-screen TV! And we HAVE a big screen TV, so I'm not just picking on people here. I'm speaking of myself as well. I have to remind myself that it's better for my kids to create memories of playing in the house than of constantly being told not to break anything?)

I digress...

God wants us to be absorbed with Him. He wants us to make Him a part of our existent whole. He doesn't just want us on Sunday mornings. Or at our small groups during the week. He wants to be absorbed into us. Do you get that? Do you truly get that? (I know I don't most of the time!) God wants us to pursue a way of life where we are in union with Him. He wants us to have a life of meaning and significance. All the gold in the world won't give us that! And He doesn't just want us to have a life of significance - He wants us to have special significance! He designed us to have a particular purpose. That purpose does not entail racking up the dough or stuffing our garages full of things. His purpose for each one of us is to know Him and then to tell others about Him, hopefully leading them into their own life of significance in Christ. 

Having a nice car, a beautiful house, or the best gadgets doesn't give us significance. Only Christ Jesus can do that. So, if you're a believer of Christ, then know that your life is significant! You have a greater purpose and the relationship you build with Him will give you such immense blessings in Heaven that all this earthly stuff won't even matter. 

Now to get myself to believe that when I see a flashy boat skimming across the water while mine sits broken in our garage...

Psalm 88:13

"I'm standing my ground, God, shouting for help,

at my prayers every morning, on my knees each daybreak."

Psalm 88:13 (The Message)

Wow. This just convicted me in a mighty way! I keep whining about how things are going in my family, but have I really prayed like *this*? No, I haven't. Oh, I've prayed all right! But, not in a very consistent fashion. I'll pray for my family one day, sometimes many times a day, but then I'll miss a few days until I'm left wondering why things feel like they're falling apart. 

I love the picture this brings to my mind. Satan tries to make me give up. He attacks - and he attacks hard! But, I need to stand my ground against him, knowing that God wins in the end. And I can be loud about asking for God's help. I don't have to go sit in my room and whisper my prayer or even just think it in my mind. I can be bold. I can shout. I can scream if I need to. But, I need to be praying! 

So, if you read this and feel led to do so - please hold me accountable. If you hear me venting about things, or you see me being especially whiny, ask me gently, "Have you prayed for your family lately?" Don't get on my case if I haven't or try to shame me, just gently and lovingly remind me to that before I say another word - or type another letter. Thank you! :-)

Proverbs 19:8

"Grow a wise heart - you'll do yourself a favor;

keep a clear head - you'll find a good life."

Proverbs 19:8 (The Message)

I've blogged about this verse already, but I just needed to write my thoughts about this verse again. I sincerely hope it doesn't sound like I'm tooting my own horn, because what I'm about to say is a gift from God, pure and simple. Trust me - the changes in my are definitely not of my own doing! They are a result of me finally allowing God to have complete and total control over every aspect of my life (at least the majority of the time).

I've been reading the Bible pretty much daily now since January. In that time, I have read Proverbs 3 times and am on my 4th time now. Each time God speaks to me in different ways. I've been trying really hard to apply what I hear God say to me. In doing so, my heart is growing wiser. I have a very, very long ways to go yet, but God is working. My head is clearer - especially when I get frustrated with my husband or my children. I'm keeping my cool more and while I have moments/days where I just feel like I'm at the end of my rope (as I did today), I'm also enjoying a better life than I ever have before. 

I have more self-control. I'm not so quick to lose my temper. And when I do get frustrated, I'm able to be quieter about it - more clear-headed. Am I perfect in this? By no means. But, I'm improving. And isn't that what we hope to do each day in our relationship with Christ? 

I pray the Lord continues to work in my heart. I pray that he continues to work in the relationships I have with my family and friends. I pray that he continues to teach me his wisdom so that my life just gets better and better!

Psalm 79:4-5a, 8b-9, 13

"We're nothing but a joke to our neighbors,

graffiti scrawled on the city walls.

How long do we have to put up with this, God?

...Hurry up and help us; 

we're at the end of our rope.

You're famous for helping; 

God, give us a break...

...Then we, your people, the ones you love and care for,

will thank you over and over and over.

We'll tell everyone we meet

how wonderful you are, how praiseworthy you are!"

Psalm 79:405a, 8b-9, 13 (The Message)

This is how I feel these days: like a joke to one of our children. This child defies us, mocks us, and challenges us on absolutely everything we say or do. I know a lot of this is the age of this child. But, some of it is also because of the hurts in this child's heart from things in his/her past. Even so, my husband and I are tired. We feel as if we're at the end of our rope. And I'm sure our child feels the same. We all need a break. Including the other children in our home. 

We need God's help. I have been begging for God's help, yet the turmoil persists. Does this mean God isn't working? Absolutely not! God is working, but he's working with fallible human beings who are all stubborn and strong-willed. Who all have pride issues that we're dealing with. Who all have a hard time admitting when they're wrong. But, he's also dealing with human beings who all want life in our home to be different. We all feel like giving up, but due to our stubbornness, I don't think any of us will. 

The key is that we each be willing to allow God to work in our hearts. I can't speak for the rest of my family, but I can speak for myself when I say that I am trusting that God will help us through this. I may say, "I'm done." I may say, "I just want to drive away as fast as I can, as far as I can, and never come back.". But, I could never actually do that because I know God is going to bring healing to my family and I plan to be here to see that happen. 

When it does happen, you can be certain that I will be thanking God over and over and over again and will be telling everyone I meet how wonderful God is!

1 Kings 19:11-12

"A hurricane wind ripped through the mountains 

and shattered the rocks before God, 

but God wasn't to be found in the wind; 

after the wind an earthquake,

but God wasn't in the earthquake; 

and after the earthquake fire,

but God wasn't in the fire; 

and after the fire a gentle and quiet whisper."

1 Kings 19:11-12 (The Message)

A couple different things struck me when I was reading these verses:

First, God doesn't always show himself in big, attention-getting ways. In fact, he rarely shows himself in these ways. When he speaks to us, it is usually in his still, small voice. It's easy to think God isn't working if we don't see huge, miraculous changes in our lives, but God doesn't always work that way. Sure, he can, but he wants us to be listening for his voice so I believe that's why he chooses to speak to us in whispers more often than not.

We are often looking for God to work wonders for us instead of sitting there listening for his quiet voice to guide us. This reminds me of the story of the man who is in a flood. He climbs to his rooftop to wait for God to rescue him. A man in a boat comes and tells him to climb in and he'd bring him to safety. The man on the roof waves him off and says, "I'm trusting God to rescue me!" Then, a helicopter flies up and they call to him to grab the ladder and they'd fly him to safety. The man declines, again saying, "I'm trusting God to rescue me!" Finally all the rescue efforts are over and the man drowns wondering why God hadn't rescued him. Is that crazy, or what?!

Pay attention for the quiet ways God works in your life. Too many times we don't see them until we look at our past and then see the gentle ways God was working. But, if we take the time to stop and listen for him, we'll see that he is here with us, guiding us in our everyday lives.

The other thing that struck me while reading these verses was that God works even in the midst of turmoil. Everything around us may be going crazy - we may feel like our lives are swirling around like a crazy hurricane or things are falling down around us as if we were in an earthquake - but if we take time to really listen for God's voice, we will hear it. In times of crisis it's so easy to think God isn't there because we can't hear him. But, if we stop and try to drown out the chaos, we might be able to hear his voice. No... we will be able to hear his voice. 

Things in my life have been so insanely crazy lately. Today was one horrible day for me. It would have been so easy to not take the time to listen for God and just let my emotions run wild, but I took 30 minutes out of the chaos to go into my bedroom, shut the door, put on my headphones and listen to a meditation I have for healing from grief. During that time, I was able to see Jesus and feel his healing hand on my heart. I was able to allow God to stop the craziness and hear the Lord speak calm into my heart. Did he literally "speak" to me? No, but I felt his still, small voice telling me that everything is going to be ok with me and my family. 

Take the time to read God's word and meditate on it - especially when you're going through  a hard time. That's when we really need to lean on the Lord and he will be there for us if we go to him. Never stop listening for his gentle and quiet whisper.

Luke 11:10-13

"Don't bargain with God. Be direct.

Ask for what you need.

This is not a cat-and-mouse, hide-and-seek game we're in.

If your little boy asks for a serving of fish, 

do you scare him with a live snake on his plate?

If your little girl asks for an egg, 

do you trick her with a spider?

As bad as you are, you wouldn't think of such a thing - 

you're at least decent to your own children.

And don't you think the Father who conceived you in love

will give the Holy Spirit when you ask him?"
Luke 11:10-13 (The Message)

I have struggled with this passage in the past. It seemed so much like whatever I asked for, God did the opposite. Especially when it came to being pregnant. I still don't have the answers as to why he answered my prayer to have a healthy baby with the death of so many of my babies, but I do know that when I asked for the Holy Spirit's help, He was there. He carried me through the pain and bitterness that came after the loss of my babies and he has brought me to a new understanding of his love for me. 

Is it fair that I lost so many babies when women who do drugs during their pregnancies or go on to abuse their children got to keep their babies? No. But, do I know God's plan for those babies who were born into this world? No. Who am I to question what he does? God sees everything from a totally different perspective than I do and while I would love to sit down with him and demand to know the answers, I also know that when I get to heaven I will be with my Father and none of this will even matter anymore. I will be with God and that's all that I'll need.

Luke 8:48

"Jesus said, 'Daughter, you took a risk trusting me, 

and now you're healed and whole. 

Live well, live blessed!'"

Luke 8:48 (The Message)

Jesus is talking to the woman who had suffered from a bleeding ailment for 12 years. She had reached out and touched his robe, trusting that all she needed was a little touch and she would be healed. She touched him and she was healed. The part where she was taking a risk is the fact that back then, if a woman was bleeding, she was considered unclean and was not allowed to touch anyone until she was done bleeding and had been purified. Jesus could have gotten angry with her for touching him as technically, he was now unclean himself. Instead, he healed her; he acknowledged the risk she had taken and blessed her for it. 

 

Knowing what we know about Jesus today, we know it's not risk-taking to trust him. But sometimes, the things we go through cause it to truly feel as if we are taking a risk when we trust Jesus. I know I have struggled with this in the past. It seemed everything I prayed for, the opposite happened. I prayed for a baby, and God allowed me to miscarry - eight times! I prayed for children through adoption and we hit one snag after another. I prayed for my children to be safe and one child was hit by a car. I prayed for my marriage to remain strong and our marriage nearly ended in divorce (Praise God, it didn't!). 

Needless to say, trusting Jesus became a very difficult thing for me to do.  It began to feel as if I would be taking a huge risk if I put my life into God's hands. To this day, I struggle with this. But, each day, I take a risk. I make the decision to trust God with my life and with my family. Sometimes I have a lot of fear when I do this - apparently Satan likes to use this struggle in mighty ways in my mind - but I also make the choice to believe that Jesus is stronger than Satan. So, I make a conscious decision each and every day to take the "risk" to trust Jesus. And I do feel blessed for doing so! I do feel as if I am living well when my life is in His hands! 

No, things aren't perfect. Prayers still sometimes get answered the opposite of what I pray, but instead of becoming bitter with God over this, I'm learning to trust that his ways are not my ways and that his plan is always better than my own.

Proverbs 15: 26

"God can't stand evil scheming,

but he puts words of grace and beauty on display."

Proverbs 15:26 (The Message)

I had a thought while I was reading this verse: Do I put my kids' words of grace and beauty on display? More times than not, I don't. It's so easy, as parents, to see the wrong things our kids do and quickly call them on it. But, how often do we jump on the beautiful things they do? We've all seen the kids who act out negatively because that's the only time they get attention from their parents and they figure negative attention is better than no attention at all. Our kids may not be acting out negatively, but are they hearing that we see and notice the good things they do?

This verse convicted me to start finding something of grace and beauty from my kids' mouths or actions every day. I don't know about you, but I'm quick to forget when I have thoughts like this and by tomorrow I would forget I even decided to do this. This is where my cell phone comes in handy. I'm off to put a reminder in it right now - before I get distracted and forget. If you decide to join me on this, please comment below and share what beautiful things you see your kids doing and saying! And while we're at it - let's focus on the beautiful things our spouses and even our friends do, as well!

Psalm 57:1-3

"Be good to me God - and now! I've run to you for dear life. 

I'm hiding out under your wings until the hurricane blows over. 

I call out to High God, the God who holds me together. 

He sends orders from heaven and saves me, 

he humiliates those who kick me around. 

God delivers generous love, 

he makes good on his word." 

Psalm 57:1-3 (The Message)

This is the passage I'm currently memorizing. I hope to memorize the entire Psalm as I've found this entire Psalm to be quite useful when your facing the attitudes that can fly in a house with a teen daughter and preteen boys. The hurricane being the negative attitudes, of course. ;-) 

Something that has helped me so much is when the attitudes begin to fly, I excuse myself from the situation, go into my room and work on reciting this passage. In a sense - "I run to God for dear life" because I know that all it takes is one wrong response from me and the hurricane can destroy everything. But, if "I hide out under God's wings", the hurricane will blow over. And while I'm hiding out with God, he is "holding me together". I literally feel as if his wings are keeping me from walking out and really letting the kids have the full force of my wrath. 

God does "deliver generous love". He does "make good on his word". And if I can just remember to do this each and every time my temper gets set off, our home can be a home of peace. 

If you're a parent, I encourage you to read the rest of this Psalm - I especially like the wording of the Message Paraphrase. Imagine the pride of lions being your kids and it might even make you chuckle a bit. ;-) When it talks about how "they booby-trapped my path" imagine what it's like when your kids all gang up on you and hound you to no end. And when you get through that "attack" notice how David thanked God, singing his praises. (And realize that this can really drive your kids batty when they've "attacked" and you're calmly singing God's praises. Yeah... I have a dark side...) 

And remember, "the deeper God's love, the higher it goes; every cloud is a flag to your faithfulness". (Psalm 57:10 The Message)

Mark 14:71-72

"Now Peter got really nervous and swore, 

'I never laid eyes on this man you're talking about.' 
Just then the rooster crowed a second time. 

Peter remembered how Jesus had said, 

'Before a rooster crows twice, you'll deny me three times.' 

He collapsed in tears." 

Mark 14:71-72 (The Message)

After I had a few miscarriages and handled each one the same way - blaming and condemning God - I vowed that if I ever had another one, I would keep my eyes on Christ and just trust in God's plan for my life. I truly wanted to handle the losses in a manner that would glorify God. 

Then I had a few more miscarriages and handled those even worse than I did the first few. I wanted so much to keep Jesus close to my heart and instead, I denied Him. I turned from Him and felt so lost and alone. 

I imagine Peter must have felt that way. I'm sure he probably considered suicide for denying the Lord. I know I did. But, Jesus forgave him - even before Peter denied him. He told Peter what that he was going to deny him but he didn't throw him out. He took Peter with him as he prayed in the garden of Gethsemane. He wanted Peter there with him while his heart was so deeply troubled about what was about to happen. 

I know Jesus wanted me with him as well. It was my own actions that caused me to feel distant from the Lord. I'm sure Jesus was coming to me, saying, "What's the matter with you, Jen, that you can't stick it out with me?!" just as he did with the disciples in the garden. And no matter what I wanted to do, I simply couldn't keep my eyes on Christ in my heartache. 

Now that I've made it through that dark time in my life, I look back on how I turned from God and it causes me to weep. How things would have been different for me had I just trusted in the Lord. Had I allowed God to carry me through the heartache I was going through, instead of pushing him away, blaming him for everything. I'd say I wish I could have a do-over, but I'd really rather not have anymore miscarriages. I think I'll just confess my failure and my sadness to God and allow his forgiveness to wash over me. 

Yes, I pulled a "Peter", but like Peter, God has forgiven me and is bringing me into an even closer relationship with Him. And for that, I praise my Father in Heaven!

Psalm 55:7-8, 16,18, 23c

"I want some peace and quiet. I want a walk in the country, 

I want a cabin in the woods. I'm desperate for a change 

from rage and stormy weather... I call to God, God will help me... 

My life is well and whole, secure in the middle of danger...

And I trust in You."

Psalm 55:7-8, 16, 18, 23c (The Message)

Peace and quiet. How I need thee! I've been dealing with Mono for the last (almost) 3 months now. Having Mono keeps me pretty worn out and tired on a daily basis, so needless to say, my house is looking pretty cluttered. I haven't had energy to go anywhere. And I'm desperate for a change in my physical body. 

We just had the most mild winter we've had in a long time. The weather has been gorgeous and I've been stuck inside sleeping my days away. I could have been out hiking every day. Or mountain biking. Or doing school at the lake with the one child I home school. Instead, I've been sleeping all morning, every morning. Waking up to fix lunch, do a little bit of school with my child and then taking another nap so I have energy to get through the evening - getting dinner made, making sure homework and chores get finished. To say I'm "desperate" for a change is an understatement!

I want to go hiking. I want to go camping. I want my house to look and feel peaceful. But, this isn't to be right now. So instead, I keep calling out to God. He will help me. 

Aside from having Mono, my life is "well and whole and secure". My family is getting along better than ever. My relationship with my daughter is doing phenomenal. My boys are growing into amazing young men. My husband is taking steps to better himself, his relationship with us and his relationship with the Lord. I have no needs that aren't being met right now and my life is secure. My husband is here with us. He's not drinking, he's laughing with us. He has a job which provides for all our needs and many of our wants. My life is very, very good right now. And I'm not going to allow Mono to destroy all that. 

Most of all, I trust in God. He has a reason why he's allowing me to take so long to heal from this illness. Perhaps he wants me to focus on the relationship building that's happening in our family right now and not focus on how clean my house is. I don't know. But I do know that I trust Him. And I will continue to put my life into His loving hands, knowing that He has plans for my life.

Mark 8:34

"'Anyone who intends to come with me [Jesus] has to let me lead. 

You're not in the driver's seat. I am. Don't run from suffering; embrace it. 

Follow me and I'll show you how.'" 

Mark 8:34 (The Message)

Reminds me of the bumper stickers I've seen where it says, "God is my co-pilot." No he's not! He is your pilot! The times I've tried to control my own life I have been left feeling lost. God is the One who shows me the way. 

What about this "embrace suffering"? Sounds kind of masochistic, doesn't it? Jesus isn't telling us we need to ENJOY suffering, he is saying that when suffering comes, you don't have to be afraid because we know what the end is going to be like. I can suffer and survive in this life, because this life is but a blink in comparison to the eternity that awaits me. An eternity of no suffering! No pain! No tears!

It reminds me of FlyLady when she says, "You can do anything for 15 minutes." I can suffer in this lifetime, because in the grand scheme of things, this lifetime is about the equivalent to 15 minutes. I can take pain - so long as I know it's going to end. Sort of like child birth. If we went by the pain level, we'd only give birth once. But, we know the pain is going to end and when it does end, we'll be holding a precious little bundle of joy! A gift of life!

Well, the same is true of our eternity. We, Christians, can survive the pain of this life, because we know a precious gift is waiting for us on the other side! Cling to that and we can get through any heart-ache in this life.

Psalm 33:20-22

"We're depending on God; he's everything we need. 

What's more, our hearts brim with joy since we've taken 

for our own his holy name. Love us, God, with all you've got - 

that's what we're depending on." 

Psalm 33:20-22 (The Message)

God IS everything I need. I have many... too many... wants, but all that I need is in Him. My body can fail me. My friends can fail me. My family can fail me. If I have God, I can get through any of it.

Proverbs 17:22

"A cheerful disposition is good for your health;
gloom and doom leave you bone-tired."
Proverbs 17:22 (The Message)

Trying to get my kids to understand this one. Particularly my eldest son, who seems to latch on the negativity all too easily. I think this is the next verse I'm going to write on their bathroom mirror...