"I want some peace and quiet. I want a walk in the country,
I want a cabin in the woods. I'm desperate for a change
from rage and stormy weather... I call to God, God will help me...
My life is well and whole, secure in the middle of danger...
And I trust in You."
Psalm 55:7-8, 16, 18, 23c (The Message)
Peace and quiet. How I need thee! I've been dealing with Mono for the last (almost) 3 months now. Having Mono keeps me pretty worn out and tired on a daily basis, so needless to say, my house is looking pretty cluttered. I haven't had energy to go anywhere. And I'm desperate for a change in my physical body.
We just had the most mild winter we've had in a long time. The weather has been gorgeous and I've been stuck inside sleeping my days away. I could have been out hiking every day. Or mountain biking. Or doing school at the lake with the one child I home school. Instead, I've been sleeping all morning, every morning. Waking up to fix lunch, do a little bit of school with my child and then taking another nap so I have energy to get through the evening - getting dinner made, making sure homework and chores get finished. To say I'm "desperate" for a change is an understatement!
I want to go hiking. I want to go camping. I want my house to look and feel peaceful. But, this isn't to be right now. So instead, I keep calling out to God. He will help me.
Aside from having Mono, my life is "well and whole and secure". My family is getting along better than ever. My relationship with my daughter is doing phenomenal. My boys are growing into amazing young men. My husband is taking steps to better himself, his relationship with us and his relationship with the Lord. I have no needs that aren't being met right now and my life is secure. My husband is here with us. He's not drinking, he's laughing with us. He has a job which provides for all our needs and many of our wants. My life is very, very good right now. And I'm not going to allow Mono to destroy all that.
Most of all, I trust in God. He has a reason why he's allowing me to take so long to heal from this illness. Perhaps he wants me to focus on the relationship building that's happening in our family right now and not focus on how clean my house is. I don't know. But I do know that I trust Him. And I will continue to put my life into His loving hands, knowing that He has plans for my life.