Psalm 52:9, Psalm 54:1-2; Psalm 55:6-8

"I thank you always

that you went into action.

And I'll stay right here, 

your good name my hope,

in company with your faithful friends."

Psalm 52:9 (The Message)

God did go into action today! We had a very important meeting this afternoon that I have been stressing about for about a couple weeks now. All the signs pointed to a positive outcome, but you know how Satan loves to wreak havoc on our thoughts! My mind felt like it was spinning out of control!

We had hundreds of people praying for truth to prevail. Yesterday, I was reading in Psalms and read this:

"God, for your sake, help me!

Use your influence to clear me.

Listen God - I'm desperate.

Don't be too busy to hear me."

Psalm 54:1-2 (The Message)

How I clung to this passage today! My anxiety level was through the roof - I felt like I was going to pass out all day due to being unable to breathe. But, I just kept repeating this verse and remembering how many people were praying for us and for truth. 

God heard our prayers and answered them in a mighty way! I have hope for the future. And now I'm ready for what Psalm 55 talks about:

"I want some peace and quiet. 

I want a walk in the country,

I want a cabin in the woods.

I'm desperate for a change 

from rage and stormy weather."

Psalm 55:6-8 (The Message)

I know having kids who are teens/pre-teen means there will still be times of stormy weather. Shoot, just life itself brings some pretty nasty weather! But, I also know that:

"When I call to God;

God will help me.

At dusk, dawn, and noon I sigh

deep sighs - he hears, he rescues.

My life is well and whole, secure 

in the middle of danger..."

Psalm 55:16-18a (The Message)

I trust in God to get my family through anything the future holds. 

Psalm 49:7-8a

"Really! There's no such thing as self-rescue,

pulling yourself up by your bootstraps.

The cost of rescue is beyond our means..."

Psalm 49:7-9a (The Message)

Self-rescue. How many of us hate to ask for help, thinking we can fix a problem in our lives 'on our own'. We believe that makes us "strong". Well, it doesn't. And sometimes it's just plain foolishness and self-centeredness. We cannot rescue ourselves. From death or sometimes even from certain situations in our lives. The cost of our rescue is beyond what we can humanly do by ourselves. 

I've tried to do things on my own, refusing to share with others what's going on in my life because I don't want people to think of me as weak. Guess where that got me? In a very weak spot, indeed! God has this way of bringing us to our knees when we need it the most. ;-)

God is our rescuer. Sometimes He rescues us without using humans and sometimes he rescues us using other humans. No matter how He does it, we need to recognize that it is HIM doing it, not ourselves. God has rescued me three times from the hand of death. Each of those three times was made worse because I was afraid to ask for help. I was afraid to tell people what I was thinking or how I was feeling because I was so afraid to appear weak. Well, in my weakness, He is strong. He saved me from doing something really foolish and put the right people in my life to help bring me back into relationship with Him. 

I tried to pull myself up by my bootstraps. And I failed. The cost of my rescue was beyond my means. I praise God for that so that He gets all the glory for my life today.

Luke 1:78-79

"Through the heartfelt mercies of our God, 

God's Sunrise will break in upon us,

Shining on those in the darkness,

Those sitting in the shadow of death,

Then showing us the way, one foot at a time,

Down the path of peace."

Luke 1:78-79 (The Message)

What a beautiful picture of Jesus! "God's Sunrise". Given to us by God's tender mercy. Are you in the dark? Are you sitting in the shadow of death? Close your eyes and picture God's Sunrise, breaking through the clouds. Lift up your face to Heaven and feel the warmth of Jesus shining down on you. He is there. He is reaching out for you. And He will show you the way, "one foot at a time", guiding you "down the path of peace". 

Oh God,

When the darkness begins to take over, I lift my face to Jesus, 

living in the hope that you will rescue me. Carry me now, Lord God. 

The darkness can seem so strong - so powerful. But Lord... 

you are always stronger than the darkness. 

When I bring my pain into Your Light, 

you will work and bring me peace. 

Guide me now and always, one foot a time. 

In Jesus' radiant name I pray. 

Amen.

Psalm 53:6

"Is there anyone around to save Israel? God turns life around. 

Turned-around Jacob skips rope, turned-around Israel sings laughter." 

Psalm 53:6 (The Message)

"God turns life around." Oh boy! Does he ever! In my "old" life, I was a smoker. A person who used the most foul language. I starved myself, among other self-destructive behaviors. I was on a slow path to death. And, probably like the Israelites, I considered myself to be a girl who loved God. I'm sure if you asked the Israelites back then, "Do you love God?" they'd have answered yes. Even though they were breaking so many, if not all, of God's commands. 

I did love God. And I also knew the things I was doing were wrong. I often thought, "Oh, if only I was born Catholic. I could become a nun and live in the Church every day.", because church was the only place I felt I was truly "good". I didn't curse at church. I didn't smoke at church. I felt like I was a good, little Christian girl at church. And I figured, if I could just never leave church, then I would measure up to God's standards.

Then I realized that I don't have to live at church to measure up. All I had to do was truly accept Jesus. When I did that, suddenly, everything else just fell into place. I quit smoking because I wanted to protect the life within me (my bio son), not because I felt like I was a horrible sinner. I quit cursing because I realized I didn't want my son's first word to be *$*@)!, not because I felt like God would never accept me if I talked like that. 

You see, God had accepted me - just as I was. I didn't need to be a good person before he would accept me! I just needed to accept His love for me - sent through His Son, Jesus Christ! 

Did I change overnight? *chuckle* No way! It has taken almost 13 years to change! Do I still slip up and sin? Each and every day! No, I don't smoke anymore (praise God!) but I have days where I might scoot closer to a smoker just so I can get a whiff. Do I still curse occasionally. Yes, I do but it's a whole lot better than it was! Do I still struggle with an eating disorder? Nope! This is one area where God has completely and totally healed me! I still struggle sometimes with feeling overweight (and it doesn't help that Wii Fit tells me I am LOL) but I am no longer able to skip meals - even if I desperately want to. I don't understand it myself, but I am physically not able to not eat. Sometimes that makes me so frustrated, but honestly - I feel free. And I praise God for that! 

The picture of myself I used for this blog truly is what I feel like inside. I am free! God has turned my life around and I can skip (ok, so not really because I have a bum knee, but my heart skips for joy, if that counts for anything!) and I can laugh on a daily basis now - because of what Christ has done for me. My life today is so amazing and I am so incredibly blessed!

Deuteronomy 30:2,6

"If at that time [after Israel loses everything due to disobedience to God] 

you and your children return to the Lord your God, 

and if you obey with all your heart and all your soul 

all the commands I have given you today... 

Deuteronomy 30:2 (NLT) 

God, your God, will cut away the thick calluses on your heart 

and your children's hearts, freeing you to love God, your God, 

with your whole heart and soul and live, really live." 

Deuteronomy 30:6 (The Message)

You know what I love most about this whole section of Deuteronomy (Chapters 28-30)?  At first, it sounds just awful - horrifying really - what God says will happen if the Israelites break God's commands and begin to worship other gods. Cannibalism?! Even cannibalism of our own children?! I mean, can you even imagine making the decision to eat a person, let alone your very own child?! It's horrific! If I knew that this was a possibility if I broke God's command, I'd like to think that would be enough to stop me from sinning. 

Unfortunately,  I'm a sinner. I was born a sinner. I was destined to be a sinner even while in my mother's womb. I don't stand a chance. Of course, now that Christ has come, I DO stand a chance, thanks to his sacrifice. But, back in Old Testament days, there was no Christ. It was: You sin. You suffer. But, despite all that - God still showed his love for his people. His mercy. 

So many people think that the Old Testament is just a bunch of rules and laws and it's all about God's wrath. *wary grin* I used to think that about the Old Testament. But, the Old Testament is really chock-full of God's amazing mercy!

You see, almost every time God tells the Israelites what bad will happen to them, he then goes into: but if you turn from your sin and come back to God, ________ blessings will come upon you. And here in Deuteronomy 30 there is no exception. God could just give up on us humans. I mean, we sin time and time again - usually the same sin we just repented for the day before - or even the hour before! I'm sure he gets pretty fed up with our antics at times! Yet, even here in Deuteronomy he says that if we come back to God and love him with all our hearts, he will cut away the calluses on our heart which will free us to love God with all our hearts and souls and we will really live. And then, he lists everything the Israelites will get in blessings for having done so. 

What an amazing Father he is! I mean, seriously, how many of us parents give our kids a consequence for their misbehavior - and in the same breath say, "Oh, but if you turn from your sin I'm going to give you ________ blessing and _________ blessing and _________ blessing!"? [said in the perfect game-show-host tone of voice] We don't usually do this because we want to know that our child is serious about their behavior becoming right. But, God does this with us. He is so gracious to us! He loves us so incredibly much that my brain can't even comprehend how to measure it!

I mean - who wouldn't want a Father like that?! Who punishes justly when we sin, yet offers us hope in the same breath? So amazing! And what a wonderful example for us as parents to strive for. When disciplining our children, are we making them feel like failures who will never be able to measure up, let alone escape from God's wrath? Or are we building them up, teaching them that despite their sin, they can measure up thanks to Jesus; that they do have hope for their future!?

Psalm 34:17-18

"Is anyone crying for help? God is listening, ready to rescue you.
If your heart is broken, you'll find God right there; if you're
kicked in the gut, he'll help you catch your breath."
Psalm 34:17-18 (The Message)

Really needed this tonight. It was a rough day for me physically and emotionally. My heart felt broken and I felt as if I had been kicked in the gut, but God - through the help of a dear friend and a wonderful just-listening husband - did help me catch my breath. I'm so blessed!

Psalm 30:2-3,5

"God, my God, I yelled for help and you put me together. 

God, you pulled me out of the grave, 

gave me another chance at life when 

I was down-and-out." 

Psalm 30:2-3 (The Message)

I like that this paraphrase uses the phrase "yelled for help". When we are knee-deep in the muck of this life, we don't necessarily speak quietly. At least I know I don't! I've yelled at God. I poured my heart out to God. In fact, I screamed at God. And you know what? I'm still alive to tell about it. God is a big enough God to handle my anger, my fear, my frustration, my grief. And he's big enough to handle yours. Cry out to Him. He WILL hear you and He will help you. He WILL give you another chance at life.

Another verse I love from this Psalm is verse 5:  

"The nights of crying your eyes out give way to days of laughter."

This has definitely happened to me. My days are now filled with laughter. I love to be silly with the kids and they love to break out in unable-to-stop laughter with me. There is nothing like laughing so hard you cry with your kids. Nothing. :-) Ok.. so maybe laughing so hard your kids wet their pants... ;-)