Proverbs 19:8

"Grow a wise heart - you'll do yourself a favor;

keep a clear head - you'll find a good life."

Proverbs 19:8 (The Message)

I've blogged about this verse already, but I just needed to write my thoughts about this verse again. I sincerely hope it doesn't sound like I'm tooting my own horn, because what I'm about to say is a gift from God, pure and simple. Trust me - the changes in my are definitely not of my own doing! They are a result of me finally allowing God to have complete and total control over every aspect of my life (at least the majority of the time).

I've been reading the Bible pretty much daily now since January. In that time, I have read Proverbs 3 times and am on my 4th time now. Each time God speaks to me in different ways. I've been trying really hard to apply what I hear God say to me. In doing so, my heart is growing wiser. I have a very, very long ways to go yet, but God is working. My head is clearer - especially when I get frustrated with my husband or my children. I'm keeping my cool more and while I have moments/days where I just feel like I'm at the end of my rope (as I did today), I'm also enjoying a better life than I ever have before. 

I have more self-control. I'm not so quick to lose my temper. And when I do get frustrated, I'm able to be quieter about it - more clear-headed. Am I perfect in this? By no means. But, I'm improving. And isn't that what we hope to do each day in our relationship with Christ? 

I pray the Lord continues to work in my heart. I pray that he continues to work in the relationships I have with my family and friends. I pray that he continues to teach me his wisdom so that my life just gets better and better!

Proverbs 25:11-12

"The right word at the right time is like a custom-made piece of jewelry, 
and a wise friend's timely reprimand is like a gold ring slipped on your finger." 
Proverbs 25:11-12 (The Message)

Oh my. This verse really rings true. And what I'm about to write is really putting myself out there. I'm a little scared to do it, but you know what - God wants us to bring things out into the Light, so I'm praying that someone is blessed by what I'm about to say...

There was a time where I was a very angry woman. My heart was bitter, although I had so much to be grateful for. I was stressed out, adding 2 children who didn't speak English and didn't know how our family ran into our home. My husband's business was taking off and he was rarely home. I was recovering from a miscarriage and my faith was shot. And I was not a nice mama. :-(

Then, a wise friend said some pretty harsh words to me. She told me I had a vindictive spirit, among other things. I was speechless when she said that, because she said everything I was thinking about myself! (I love how God speaks through other people to get our attention!) I KNEW, in my heart, that I was not even close to being the mom God created me to be, but it took hearing it from the mouth of someone I really cared for, someone I wanted to emulate her - she had so much patience with her children and always appeared calm, no matter what she was going through. Plus, she had adopted children as well and was someone I could go to for wisdom in the adoption arena.

I really took her words to heart. I sought counseling. I spoke with my doctor and was diagnosed with PPMD and began taking medication to help with my moods. And I begged God to change my heart. He didn't do it overnight, but he DID do it. I am not the same mom I was 3-4 years ago! I sought their forgiveness for my attitude in the past and my family has forgiven me. They often comment how I never yell anymore. In fact, my youngest son's memory of that time is slowly fading. Sure, I get frustrated with my kids still. But, I cannot tell you the last time I disciplined them in anger. Grace is seen more in our home now and healthy, strong relationships are being built.

Thank you Jesus!

Psalm 37:5, 7-8

"Commit everything you do to the Lord. Trust him, and he will help you...
Be still in the presence of the Lord, and wait patiently for him to act.
Don't worry about evil people who prosper or fret about their
wicked schemes. Stop being angry! Turn from your rage!
Don't lose your temper - it only leads to harm."
Psalm 37:5, 7-8 (NLT)

This. This is what I'm trying to do with some situations in our lives. I'm trying to commit the things that are making me so angry towards some people in our lives to the Lord. I'm trying to trust in his holy plan for our lives - for my husband's life - and I'm trying not to be angry. I know this situation doesn't please the Lord, but I also know my husband has done what he can do. It is now in God's hands. And God WILL act. Maybe not in the way we'd like, but he WILL act. And when he does, I know that everything will be ok, because I trust in Him.