Psalm 88:13

"I'm standing my ground, God, shouting for help,

at my prayers every morning, on my knees each daybreak."

Psalm 88:13 (The Message)

Wow. This just convicted me in a mighty way! I keep whining about how things are going in my family, but have I really prayed like *this*? No, I haven't. Oh, I've prayed all right! But, not in a very consistent fashion. I'll pray for my family one day, sometimes many times a day, but then I'll miss a few days until I'm left wondering why things feel like they're falling apart. 

I love the picture this brings to my mind. Satan tries to make me give up. He attacks - and he attacks hard! But, I need to stand my ground against him, knowing that God wins in the end. And I can be loud about asking for God's help. I don't have to go sit in my room and whisper my prayer or even just think it in my mind. I can be bold. I can shout. I can scream if I need to. But, I need to be praying! 

So, if you read this and feel led to do so - please hold me accountable. If you hear me venting about things, or you see me being especially whiny, ask me gently, "Have you prayed for your family lately?" Don't get on my case if I haven't or try to shame me, just gently and lovingly remind me to that before I say another word - or type another letter. Thank you! :-)

Psalm 86:15-17

"But you, O God, are both tender and kind,

not easily angered, immense in love,

and you never, never quit.

So look me in the eye and show kindness,

give your servant the strength to go on,

save your dear, dear child!

Make a show of how much you love me

so the bullies who hate me will stand there slack-jawed,

As you, God, gently and powerfully

put me back on my feet."

Psalm 86:15-17 (The Message)

I haven't blogged in awhile. I've been reading God's word, but nothing has really jumped out at me. Tonight, as I was reading Psalms, this passage struck me. 

Things here have been a bit crazy. Ok, so to be honest, I have felt pretty hopeless when it comes to my relationship with one of my children. I am weary. So, very weary. And the question has been coming to mind, "What was God thinking by calling us to this journey?!?!" 

Then, I read this passage and I was reminded, again, that God will NEVER quit on us. He called us to this adoption journey and he won't quit on us. He will give me the strength I need to go on. He will save his dear child - and I'm not thinking of myself when I read that line. God will gently and powerfully put us all back on our feet! 

And knowing this gives me the strength to keep trying despite my wondering why I even bother sometimes. I bother because I know I'm not in this alone. I know God is with me and I know that his immense love - which is indeed, tender and kind, will get us to the finish line. He doesn't just want us to survive the next few years together - he wants our years together to be filled with abundant love. 

So, if he won't quit, neither will I. I'm just so thankful that on the days where I just can't do it anymore, he will place me back on my feet and give me strength. Thank you, Jesus!

Proverbs 19:8

"Grow a wise heart - you'll do yourself a favor;

keep a clear head - you'll find a good life."

Proverbs 19:8 (The Message)

I've blogged about this verse already, but I just needed to write my thoughts about this verse again. I sincerely hope it doesn't sound like I'm tooting my own horn, because what I'm about to say is a gift from God, pure and simple. Trust me - the changes in my are definitely not of my own doing! They are a result of me finally allowing God to have complete and total control over every aspect of my life (at least the majority of the time).

I've been reading the Bible pretty much daily now since January. In that time, I have read Proverbs 3 times and am on my 4th time now. Each time God speaks to me in different ways. I've been trying really hard to apply what I hear God say to me. In doing so, my heart is growing wiser. I have a very, very long ways to go yet, but God is working. My head is clearer - especially when I get frustrated with my husband or my children. I'm keeping my cool more and while I have moments/days where I just feel like I'm at the end of my rope (as I did today), I'm also enjoying a better life than I ever have before. 

I have more self-control. I'm not so quick to lose my temper. And when I do get frustrated, I'm able to be quieter about it - more clear-headed. Am I perfect in this? By no means. But, I'm improving. And isn't that what we hope to do each day in our relationship with Christ? 

I pray the Lord continues to work in my heart. I pray that he continues to work in the relationships I have with my family and friends. I pray that he continues to teach me his wisdom so that my life just gets better and better!

Psalm 79:4-5a, 8b-9, 13

"We're nothing but a joke to our neighbors,

graffiti scrawled on the city walls.

How long do we have to put up with this, God?

...Hurry up and help us; 

we're at the end of our rope.

You're famous for helping; 

God, give us a break...

...Then we, your people, the ones you love and care for,

will thank you over and over and over.

We'll tell everyone we meet

how wonderful you are, how praiseworthy you are!"

Psalm 79:405a, 8b-9, 13 (The Message)

This is how I feel these days: like a joke to one of our children. This child defies us, mocks us, and challenges us on absolutely everything we say or do. I know a lot of this is the age of this child. But, some of it is also because of the hurts in this child's heart from things in his/her past. Even so, my husband and I are tired. We feel as if we're at the end of our rope. And I'm sure our child feels the same. We all need a break. Including the other children in our home. 

We need God's help. I have been begging for God's help, yet the turmoil persists. Does this mean God isn't working? Absolutely not! God is working, but he's working with fallible human beings who are all stubborn and strong-willed. Who all have pride issues that we're dealing with. Who all have a hard time admitting when they're wrong. But, he's also dealing with human beings who all want life in our home to be different. We all feel like giving up, but due to our stubbornness, I don't think any of us will. 

The key is that we each be willing to allow God to work in our hearts. I can't speak for the rest of my family, but I can speak for myself when I say that I am trusting that God will help us through this. I may say, "I'm done." I may say, "I just want to drive away as fast as I can, as far as I can, and never come back.". But, I could never actually do that because I know God is going to bring healing to my family and I plan to be here to see that happen. 

When it does happen, you can be certain that I will be thanking God over and over and over again and will be telling everyone I meet how wonderful God is!

Luke 12:25

"Has anyone by fussing before the mirror ever gotten 

taller by so much as an inch? 

If fussing can't even do that, why fuss at all?"

Luke 12:25 (The Message)

Oh my! This verse just popped out at me tonight! In context, this is talking about not being worried about having enough or getting more because God loves you so much that he'll provide for all our needs. 

But this verse... Wow. 

I've had some medical issues for a couple years now. Asthma, a difficult pregnancy which led to bedrest and my 8th miscarriage, and mono. All things that have kept me down, unable to do any sort of exercising. Add that to being in my mid - Ok. Fine... LATE 30s and I've put on some weight. And for a person who suffered from an eating disorder for most of her young adult life, this added weight can cause me some angst at times.

Thankfully, the Lord has pretty much healed me from the eating disorder, but Satan knows where I'm weak so he likes to attack my thoughts and get me being critical about my weight gain. It doesn't help that, according to Wii Fit, I am considered "overweight". (To which my amazingly wonderful, awesome children yell at the TV, "NO SHE'S NOT!" I love them, but I'm sad to say - the Wii Fit is correct. I AM a bit overweight right now.)

We don't have many large mirrors in our house. Not on purpose - it's just sort of worked out that way. But, there are times I get dressed in front of my dresser mirror and when I catch a glimpse of my body, I fret. I pinch. I examine. And I hate. *sigh* 

But, the Word of the Lord is correct - like it always is. Is all my fretting going to take any inches off my belly? Not a chance. So why fret? I literally cannot do any exercising right now or I could have a serious mono set-back. On top of that I'm dealing with a respiratory illness which could trigger my asthma at any moment. So, for me to try to exercise right now would be detrimental to my health - and isn't my ultimate goal to be healthy - in ALL ways? 

So, I focus on what I can do. When I crave sweets, I'm trying to reach for fruit instead of chocolate. I don't always succeed, but I'm eating more fruits now than I ever have before. I try to get outside every day to get some sun. I'm starting to go for short walks - when the weather behaves. So, that's taking care of my physical health. 

I'm trying to get to bed earlier - which I'm not getting done tonight, but I'm going to afternoon church tomorrow, so I can enjoy the chance to sleep in, in the morning. I'm listening to a quiet meditation every night when I go to sleep that is designed to heal depression/grief/trauma so I'm learning how to breathe better and relax. I'm working on keeping myself calm when things are stressful with any of my kids. All of which is taking care of my emotional health.

And for my spiritual health I'm reading my Bible every day. I'm listening for how God speaks to me. And I'm spending more time in prayer. I'm working on getting to church more often and now that we've found a church home that I love, that's easier for me to do. So, my spiritual health is really my best thing right now. 

Considering that's the most important thing, who cares if my waist is several inches more than it used to be? I can work on that WHEN I am physically healthy enough to do it. But, my heart is with the Lord so I have all that I need. 

Proverbs 15:23

"Congenial conversation - what a pleasure!

The right word at the right time - beautiful!"

Proverbs 15:23 (The Message)

Congenial conversation. I've had a lot of that lately having our friends staying with us! It's been such a gift for me to have another adult woman in my home! I enjoy the conversations we have with each other because we feel the same about so many things. However, there are a couple things we don't feel the same about and before realizing we don't feel the same about them, I have opened my mouth and inserted my foot. Thankfully, my friend understands that we're not going to enjoy the same things or agree with the same thing. I just wish I'd think before I speak because I realize now that the comments I have made have been rather judgmental towards certain people. (For instance, my view on motorcycles.) 

I used to be a very judgmental person and have changed quite a bit. In fact, I thought I had gotten rid of all judgmental attitudes (except towards myself *sigh*) before realizing that I've made at least two very judgmental comments in the presence of my dear friend. And I could feel the tension when I did it. I did tell her I hoped my words didn't offend her and she said no, but this Proverb stuck out at me tonight. I guess I need to work on that judgmental attitude a bit more after all. 

Thank you, Lord, for revealing my sin to me before I cause anyone serious hurt in my home and in my life today. Help me to stop before I speak if my words have the risk to sound judgmental or may hurt someone else. May my words be pleasurable and not hurtful. 

1 Kings 8:28, 29b

"Pay attention to my prayers, 

both intercessory and personal, O God, my God.

Listen to my prayers, energetic and devout,

that I'm setting before you right now...

Listen from your home in heaven

and when you hear, forgive."

1 Kings 8:28, 29b (The Message)

Oh, how my heart and soul pray for God's action! I know I am a sinner who is in need of a Savior! I know that no matter how much I try not to, I will always sin - it's just human nature. But, I praise God that he has made a way for me to be righteous in his eyes. 

My prayers are for his forgiveness of my sins, particularly my sin of wanting to give up on certain things or people in my life. Sometimes I just get so worn out and I just need a break. And lately, a physical break just hasn't been enough to bring my heart and soul peace. I need a spiritual break. And I find that when I get into the Word. Suddenly, everything around me just ceases to be and all is quiet. I'm focused on what I'm reading and it's as if the Lord is speaking directly to me through his words. And I get the respite my soul is longing for. 

The Lord knows what my heat's desire is. He knows what my soul longs most for and I know that he is working. I know that he can bring healing to broken relationships and that he can bring restoration. He pays attention to what I pray for - no matter how many times I pray it. He listens to my cries for healing and he gives me glimpses of his work to show me that he is, indeed, working. And those glimpses, no matter how tiny they are, keep me hoping for a brighter future and trusting that complete heart healing will happen. I just need to keep putting it all into God's hands and stop trying to make healing happen. 

Proverbs 11:25

"The one who blesses others is abundantly blessed;

those who help others are helped."

Proverbs 11:25 (The Message)

I've already written thoughts on this verse so I wasn't sure I should write more, but as I started to delete what I wanted to write, I felt a strong pull to continue writing, so here goes:

My husband and I were blessed to make some good money a few years ago. Because of that, we were able to buy some things that we now wouldn't have been able to buy. A boat (which doesn't run right now lol) and a camper are two of those things we were able to buy. They were paid for with cash, so we didn't go in debt for them. And what a blessing they have been! (Ok, so the boat isn't such a blessing right now since it doesn't run, but the little time that it did, it blessed our family a lot!)

We've been able to go camping a lot - sometimes in spots where we have to pay, but most of the time we go where it's free. Free fun with the family - what more could a parent ask for?! We have had so much fun getting that camper in and out of spots that are... well... a tad frightening trying to get in and out of! But, the thing that blesses me the most about having the camper is being able to open our home to friends who need a temporary home for a time. In doing so, we have not just been a blessing, but we are getting abundantly blessed by getting to know our friends in more intimate ways. We now have 3 families who are not just our friends, but our family, due to us opening our home to them. Talk about being blessed!

We have family members we are related to - some of whom we are close to and some of whom we are quite distant to. But, now? We have 20.5 new family members on top of the family we already had! That's 3 new brothers, 3 new sisters, 7 new nieces and 7 new nephews with one new niece or nephew on the way (thus the .5).

Tell me... who's more blessed? The friends we were able to help out? Or the friends who gained 20.5 family members in the process?

Helping others is a wonderful thing! Thank you Lord for blessing us so that we can bless others and get even more blessed in the process!

1 Kings 3:9

"Give me a God-listening heart so I can lead your people well,

discerning the difference between good and evil.

For who on their own is capable of leading your glorious people?"
1 Kings 3:9

God asked King Solomon to name anything he wanted. Solomon could have asked for gold or silver. He could have asked for the Israelites to obey his commands as king. But, he didn't. He asked for wisdom. This verse may be King Solomon's request to God, but it should also be our requests to God - especially if we're parents. 

Our children are also God's people and as parents, we should want to lead our children well. We need to be able to discern between good and evil and in order to do that well, we need to have God-listening hearts. In other words: wisdom. But, how many of us parents truly pray for the Lord to give us wisdom? 

I know my heart's prayer is often for my children to obey me better. To listen to me. To do what I say so that my life is easier. In reality, I need to be praying for God's wisdom to know how to handle when my children aren't obeying according to God's will and also to see when they DO God's will so I can show them that I see the good they do, as well. 

I, on my own, am not capable of leading God's children; MY children. My glorious children. I must have God's wisdom in order to do a good job.

Psalm 71:12-14

"God, don't just watch from the sidelines.

Come on! Run to my side!

My accusers - make them lose face.

Those out to get me - make them look

Like idiots, while I stretch out, reaching for you,

and daily add praise to praise."

Psalm 71:12-14 (The Message)

I'm nowhere near a perfect mom. And my husband is nowhere near a perfect dad. But, we do our best. We meet our kids' needs and give them much of what they want. We love them. We provide for them. We have fun with them. And, we try not to embarrass our kids by disciplining them in front of each other and especially not in front of friends or strangers. But, you know what? When one of my kids decides to tell us, day in and day out, that they hate us - and don't discriminate based on who may or may not be around - well... it gets tiring. And eventually, these parents are going to snap. 

Thankfully, the way I snap today doesn't look like it did in the past. Today, the "snapping" looked more like confronting the child in front of our guests and then, due to the child's continued display of disrespect, sending the child to bed. I'm sorry. I'm not a perfect mom, but a mom can only take so much hearing of the words, "I hate you" before she just needs to confront it. 

I'm worn out. I'm tired. And I pray that I can hold it together and keep my arms reaching for God, continuing to praise him, despite the hatred that is being spewed at me every.single.day from one of my children. May this child lose face from acting like this and may this child not drag me down with them. May I keep my focus on Christ and what He has done for me - and yes... even for this child who spews such venom. May I be the best parent I can be in each moment, teaching all my children to love God in the process.

Proverbs 4:5-7

"Get wisdom; develop good judgement.

Don't forget my words or turn away from them.

Don't turn your back on wisdom, for she will protect you.

Love her, and she will guard you.

Getting wisdom is the wisest thing you can do!

And whatever else you do, develop good judgment."

Proverbs 4:5-7 (NLT)

How do we "get wisdom". We aren't just born with it, we have to learn it. Some of the ways we do this are learning from our parents, our teachers, our pastors, and books. One specific book has all the wisdom we'll ever need. This book is The Holy Bible. 

I have learned so much by reading my Bible and I continue to learn new things each time I read through it. My heart latches on to the words it needs to hear in order for me to grow spiritually and emotionally. I love this about reading God's Word! It never ceases to amaze me how God speaks to me through His Word. 

I've also learned some amazing wisdom from the people around me. My parents, of course. I also had some great spiritual leaders in my life - a couple dear teachers (an elementary teacher named Mrs. Rose as well as a high school French teacher named Mme. Hull), several different pastors in my youth and today, many godly friends as well as pastors/elders in our community. I've learned so much from all these special people in my life and I feel so blessed to have had them in my life, but I'm also blessed that God allowed me to be open to being teachable. 

Do you have wise people in your life who can help you grow in Wisdom? If not, I encourage you to start seeking people out from whom you can learn. Wisdom is a beautiful thing. And good judgement can save your life. 

If you're interested in knowing what's in the Bible, but you don't have one, please let me know in the comments section. I can direct you to where you can get one for free. 

Proverbs 3:5-6

"Trust God from the bottom of your heart;

don't try to figure out everything on your own.

Listen for God's voice in everything you do, everywhere you go;

he's the one who will keep you on track."

Proverbs 3:5-6 (The Message)

Right now in my life things seem pretty topsy-turvy. I don't see much hope for the future in regards to one of the relationships in my life. I don't know why we have to go through this difficult time, but what I do know is that if I stop trying to figure out why this is all happening and start listening for God's voice, I will stay on the track that God has called me to. 

While I don't know why exactly God called us to adoption, I don't believe God's intention was for our world to feel like it's falling apart. So, I fix my eyes on Jesus, trusting that he will do his good work in my family.

Psalm 66:8-12

"Bless our God, O peoples!

Give him a thunderous welcome!

Didn't he set us on the road to life?

Didn't he keep us out of the ditch?

He trained us first,

passed us like silver through refining fires,

Brought us into hardscrabble country,

pushed us to our very limit,

Road-tested us inside and out,

took us to hell and back;

Finally he brought us

to this well-watered place."

Psalm 66:8-12 (The Message)

Anyone who knows anything about my life knows that I have been through a refining fire. I've often been heard repeating myself, "I think God put me in the fire and then walked away forgetting about me, like I forget about a pot of boiling water on the stove." While I know this isn't the way God works, this sure felt true to me at times!

Some days I feel like I don't have it in me to get through another issue. But, then God gives me the strength to do what needs to be done. Believe me when I say I've been through hell and back. But, also believe me when I say that God has, indeed, brought me to a well-watered place. Things are still incredibly rough in my life, but the more I lean on Christ, the more at peace I become. It's as if I am sitting on a rock in the middle of a raging river, but all around me is peaceful water. I breathe in God's peace and I know it will all be ok. That God is working and his will is for my life to be whole - with him as the head, it IS whole. I give him thunderous praise!

Psalm 65:5

"You faithfully answer our prayers with awesome deeds,

O God our savior. 

You are the hope of everyone on earth,

even those who sail on distant seas."

Psalm 65:5 (NLT)

Psalm 65 paints a beautiful picture of how God takes care of his earth. It goes into quite a bit of detail of the things he does to make the things of earth grow and blossom. If God takes the time to care for his earth, how much more does he want to take the time to care for us, his children? 

My prayer right now is for my family to be whole again. This is a righteous prayer. A prayer that God can, and will, answer - if the people in my family want it as well. We are given free will and if one member (or two, or three...) decides to give up on the family, there's not a whole lot I can do about it. But, what I can do is pray. Because God can change hearts. 

God is my hope for my family. He will work, if we let him. Will you please pray with me that we will all allow God to work to bring wholeness and healing to my family?

2 Samuel 7:29a

"Bless my family; 

keep your eye on them always."

2 Samuel 7:29a (The Message)

Isn't it so nice to know that even when we can't see what our children are doing, God does? His eye is on them always. Now to get our kids to see how important it is for them to live as if they believe this fact. *sigh* 

Please Lord,

My family needs your blessing. Things are so stressful right now and we need peace. When my children make bad choices, please keep your eye on them and open our eyes to the truth. Help their hearts to want to keep on the path you desire for them. When they sneak behind our backs, bring their behavior into the Light so we can know what's happening.

Thank you for doing this today when you showed us what one of our children has been sneaking around doing. I praise you that it wasn't anything dangerous and I seek your wisdom in knowing how to handle this. Thank you for giving my husband and I a like-mind of waiting until we've had time to pray and seek wise counsel. 

Please give all our children a heart for you. Don't let them go down the path of dishonesty and sneakiness. Fill my house with your Holy Spirit and pour out your blessings upon us. In Jesus' name. Amen.

Luke 8:48

"Jesus said, 'Daughter, you took a risk trusting me, 

and now you're healed and whole. 

Live well, live blessed!'"

Luke 8:48 (The Message)

Jesus is talking to the woman who had suffered from a bleeding ailment for 12 years. She had reached out and touched his robe, trusting that all she needed was a little touch and she would be healed. She touched him and she was healed. The part where she was taking a risk is the fact that back then, if a woman was bleeding, she was considered unclean and was not allowed to touch anyone until she was done bleeding and had been purified. Jesus could have gotten angry with her for touching him as technically, he was now unclean himself. Instead, he healed her; he acknowledged the risk she had taken and blessed her for it. 

 

Knowing what we know about Jesus today, we know it's not risk-taking to trust him. But sometimes, the things we go through cause it to truly feel as if we are taking a risk when we trust Jesus. I know I have struggled with this in the past. It seemed everything I prayed for, the opposite happened. I prayed for a baby, and God allowed me to miscarry - eight times! I prayed for children through adoption and we hit one snag after another. I prayed for my children to be safe and one child was hit by a car. I prayed for my marriage to remain strong and our marriage nearly ended in divorce (Praise God, it didn't!). 

Needless to say, trusting Jesus became a very difficult thing for me to do.  It began to feel as if I would be taking a huge risk if I put my life into God's hands. To this day, I struggle with this. But, each day, I take a risk. I make the decision to trust God with my life and with my family. Sometimes I have a lot of fear when I do this - apparently Satan likes to use this struggle in mighty ways in my mind - but I also make the choice to believe that Jesus is stronger than Satan. So, I make a conscious decision each and every day to take the "risk" to trust Jesus. And I do feel blessed for doing so! I do feel as if I am living well when my life is in His hands! 

No, things aren't perfect. Prayers still sometimes get answered the opposite of what I pray, but instead of becoming bitter with God over this, I'm learning to trust that his ways are not my ways and that his plan is always better than my own.

Proverbs 29:8

"A gang of cynics can upset a whole city;

a group of sages can calm everyone down."

Proverbs 29:8 (The Message)

We could change this verse to read:

"One child with a bad attitude can upset an entire family;

wise parents can calm everyone down."

We almost had some problems tonight. It was the birthday of one of my children and another one of my children seemed to be having a bit of a difficult time with the attention the birthday child was receiving. This child sat there scowling and looking miserable. I knew it was a matter of time before the other two children in our family realized what the one child was doing and knowing where their patience level was with all the drama, I knew I needed to do something to intervene. So, I just quietly told the miserable child that they could go get ready for bed since they seemed so tired. The miserable child looked surprised that I would make them leave the table during the middle of the birthday celebration, but this child must have known that I wasn't going to have a "scene" being caused on this special day because this child quietly said, "Ok" and went to get ready for bed.

This child, the one who was so miserable tonight, has a tendency to try to control the family with their mood. If this child is upset about something, they make sure everyone ends up upset. As the parents in our home, we are not going to stand for this anymore. If any child in our family decides to bring down anyone else in the family because they feel miserable, that child will be sent to their rooms where they can be miserable while being alone. We are taking back control of our family and it is not going to be a family that walks around on eggshells to make one person happy. 

It is my prayer that the Father works in this child's heart to help them see that being alone is not as much fun as one might think it would be. It is my prayer that this child decides being a member in a family is truly a treasure and something this child begins to want. Will all who are reading this pray this with me? 

Only God can change hearts - when I try to change one of my kid's hearts I only make things worse. So, I give up. I give all my children over to God and will allow him to do his miraculous work!

Luke 6:31

"Here is a simple rule of thumb for behavior:

Ask yourself what you want people to do for you;

then grab the initiative and do it for them!"

Luke 6:31 (The Message)

I absolutely love the way The Message Bible puts this verse! This is, of course, "The Golden Rule" verse, but the wording of The Message is just so spot on! As a young girl I would ponder over "The Golden Rule", wondering what I should do for others. But, this version gets me to think about what I would want others to do for me. Oh - it's so easy to come up with a list like that! Especially in regards to my relationship with my husband. Here are my top three wants from my spouse:

• I want him to pray over me.
• I want him to hug me more.
• I want him to show more public affection towards me.

The problem with these wants? These things don't come naturally to my husband. They are all things that kids need to see and have shown to them in order to grow up and be able to easily express to others. And my husband's family just wasn't an overtly religious family, nor where they very outwardly affectionate. My own family growing up was affectionate, but we certainly didn't pray together (except at dinner). 

This verse tells me that if I want my spouse to do these things with me, then I need to start by doing them with him. Showing affection to him is a breeze for me - one of my top love languages is physical touch, so I have no problems working on this part of this verse! But, praying over him? That's a little more difficult for me. It helps that I love to pray with people, but for some reason, praying with my husband is different. It's more intimate and vulnerable for me than it is to pray with someone at church. But, I'm trying to do better with this. 

The neat thing is that the more I do it, the less I'm doing it to get it in return. I started out with the hopes that I'd only have to do it for a short while before my husband figured out that he needed to do it back. ;-) But, I'm learning that doing this, with expecting nothing in return, is growing a deep compassion in my heart for those around me. And isn't gaining compassion worth so much more than gaining a few hugs or snuggles?

Psalm 61:1-4

"O God, listen to my cry!

Hear my prayer! 

From the ends of the earth, 

I cry to you for help

when my heart is overwhelmed.

Lead me to the towering rock of safety,

for you are my safe refuge,

a fortress where my enemies cannot reach me.

Let me live forever in your sanctuary, 

safe beneath the shelter of your wings!"

Psalm 61:1-4 (NLT)

Some days life is just plain overwhelming. Everything feels like it's bombarding me and I can't seem to catch a break. Do you ever have days like that? 

In the past, I have attempted to handle these days on my own. I often think God is too busy for my piddly little problems. He has more important things to worry about. But, then he gently reminds me that he cares for the sparrows, so he cares that much more for me and my problems. 

Where is God's sanctuary? Where is the towering rock of safety? Or the safe refuge? The Word of God. When life doesn't stop coming at me full throttle - when I become so overwhelmed that I can't make a decision - I turn to God's Word for direction. Always, I am reminded that God is my strength. And when I cry out to him, he helps me. Oh, he doesn't fix all the issues in my life, but he gives me the strength to tackle each one, one at a time. When I go to God, I am "safe beneath the shelter of His wings!"

Luke 5:16

"As often as possible Jesus withdrew to out-of-the-way places for prayer."

Luke 5:16 (The Message)

I think I just discovered why it's so hard for me to pray sometimes. I try to do my prayer-time in the house, with the phones ringing, text messages coming in and the family interrupting. I haven't gone away to pray in a long time. I used to walk down to the local Catholic church's Garden for the Unborn to sit and pray. I'm not Catholic, but I find such solace there. Or I'd go for long drives and use the driving time to pray. 

I rarely take the time to go off and sit in the Lord's presence anymore. But, this one, little verse tells us that even Jesus often withdrew to pray. If Jesus needed to do this, how much more do we need this? I think, from now on, I need to do this once a day. I don't have to leave my house to do it. I can go sit on the bench, under the tree we have in our front yard. Or I can take the dog for a walk and pray while we walk. Or I can take the kids to the park and wander over to the garden near the park. Or I can even just walk down to the Garden of the Unborn for a little while. But, I do need to start doing this again. 

My relationship with God is the most important thing I have. It's time for me to start putting the building of that relationship into a higher place in my life.