Proverbs 14:25

"Souls are saved by truthful witness

and betrayed by the spread of lies."

Proverbs 14:25 (The Message)

We have some pretty scary stuff happening in our lives right now. I'm not at liberty to share what it is at this time, but suffice it to say - my anxiety level has been through the roof and I feel frozen. Despite how I've been feeling, you know what brings me joy? The fact that, in my anxiety and fear, I can turn to the Bible and the Lord touches me with what I read. 

Is the Bible relevant today? Oh! You better believe it, friends! And I am praying that my husband and I are saved by truthful witness on Friday. Everything is out of my hands. I turned to an organization for help and I am going to trust that they will help. That all this fear and anxiety will be worked out for good. That the Lord is working in this and we will get the help we need. What more can I do? God is in control and His will, will be done. Praise be to God!

Deuteronomy 31:6

"Be strong. Take courage. Don't be intimidated. 

Don't give them a second thought because God, your God, 

is striding ahead of you. He's right there with you. 

He won't let you down; he won't leave you." 

Deuteronomy 31:6 (The Message)

Have you ever been afraid? I mean, really afraid? Where the panic sets in, you can't breathe, and the room starts spinning, afraid? That has got to be the worst feeling in the world. Especially when you don't even know what you're afraid of. The panic just takes over and all you can feel is fear. 

I've had to do some things in the last few years that have been terrifying for me. Therapy forces you to look at the dark places in your life; places that you've been trying to hide from for a long time, years sometimes. Decades even. It's terrifying to go to those places. I've run from it at times. I've refused to talk about it at times. I've regretted opening my mouth about certain things from my past. But, the thing that has gotten me through it all is this verse. (Only I usually sing the song I taught my kids for this verse "Be strong and courageous, do not be terrified, do not be discouraged. For the Lord, your God, is with you wherever you go.") 

When I remember to be strong. When my therapist reminds me that the past can't hurt me anymore. When I can look fear in the face and know that God is going ahead of me through this dark place, bringing Light unto it, then I can face the fear and do what I need to do. I'm still trying to get to the place where I don't give it a second thought, but hey - I'm a work in progress. :-) 

I don't have to be afraid of the people who hurt me when I was a child. I don't have to be intimidated by the group I was in as a teen. They can't touch me anymore. God is with me and with his strength, with his courage, I can have healing in my life. And God will not let me down. He will be by my side through the entire process. Thanks be to God!

Proverbs 1:33, 2:2-7a

"First pay attention to me [Lady Wisdom], and then relax. 

Now you can take it easy - you're in good hands." 

Proverbs 1:33 (The Message)

Ahhhh... and who wouldn't want to be able to relax and take it easy? 

"Tune your ears to wisdom, and concentrate on understanding. 

Cry out for insight, and ask for understanding. 

Search for them as you would for silver; seek them like hidden treasures. 

Then you will understand what it means to fear the Lord, 

and you will gain knowledge of God. For the Lord grants wisdom! 

From his mouth come knowledge and understanding. 

He grants a treasure of common sense to the honest...." 

Proverbs 2:2-7a (NLT)

I love the image I get in my mind when I read these verses. If I ask for wisdom, God will grant it to me. And when he grants it to me, I can relax! I can take it easy and know that God's got it all under control. I don't have to try to FIX everything. God's got it covered! I don't have to be perfect, in the world's eyes. God's got me covered. I don't have to worry about what's going to happen tomorrow. God already knows and he's got it covered! I can relax! I can let go of my worries because God's got me in the palm of his great hand and...

say it with me...

"GOD'S GOT IT COVERED!!!!"

Mark 4:12

"These are people whose eyes are open but don't see a thing, 

Whose ears are open but don't understand a word,

Who avoid making an about-face and getting forgiven."

Mark 4:12 (The Message)

I have so much I need to say about this verse, but my fingers just don't want to do the typing. Fear is a horrid thing. 

Taking a deep breath...

The last line in this verse really hits home with me tonight. I've stated before that I see a Christian counselor. She's helping me so much in many ways. I have some things from my past that I really struggle with. Things that I can't forgive myself for. Things that I can't ask God to forgive me for. Things that my counselor has said I don't need to seek forgiveness for because I didn't do anything wrong. That opens up a whole can of worms for me. 

I'm not ready to make this all public yet, so I apologize for the cryptic speech...

Taking another deep breath...

My eyes keep going to the words in that last line... "avoid... getting forgiven". 

"Avoid... getting forgiven."

This is one area that has always held me back from feeling truly forgiven for ALL my sins. Was it even a sin or am I believing a lie from Satan? Why am *I* holding on to guilt and shame when God wants me to "get forgiven" and be set free?

I feel the Lord is wanting to open my eyes up about something here. I think I need to end this post and go sit somewhere in quiet...

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I just spent the most amazing time in prayer! I'm really feeling like the Lord is moving and is about to work some amazing stuff in my life in regards to what I wrote above! It's so awesome, but also a little frightening. Please pray for me!

Matthew 26:39

"...He fell on his face, praying, 'My Father, if there is any way, 

get me out of this. But please, not what I want. You, what 

do YOU want?'" Matthew 26:39 (The Message)

In Matthew 26 Jesus goes to the Garden of Gethsemane to pray. It is while he is there that we see that Jesus is suffering because he knew he was about to die a violent and horrible death. I believe he was feeling raw fear here. This just proves to me that Jesus knew all our emotions and he knew fear quite well. 

Why was he afraid when he knew what the final outcome was going to be? Because he was here as the SON of God. At this point, he was human and despite having the ability to make all his suffering stop, he continued on because he knew it was God's will and he knew that his suffering would cause all who believe in him to have life eternal with God in Heaven. 

Why do "I" get afraid when I know what the final outcome is for my life? Because "I" am human and I don't have the ability to make it all stop. But, I believe in a powerful God who will give me the strength to face whatever I need to face in this life. 

Now to remember this the next time I'm faced with with a situation that brings me fear...