Psalm 88:13

"I'm standing my ground, God, shouting for help,

at my prayers every morning, on my knees each daybreak."

Psalm 88:13 (The Message)

Wow. This just convicted me in a mighty way! I keep whining about how things are going in my family, but have I really prayed like *this*? No, I haven't. Oh, I've prayed all right! But, not in a very consistent fashion. I'll pray for my family one day, sometimes many times a day, but then I'll miss a few days until I'm left wondering why things feel like they're falling apart. 

I love the picture this brings to my mind. Satan tries to make me give up. He attacks - and he attacks hard! But, I need to stand my ground against him, knowing that God wins in the end. And I can be loud about asking for God's help. I don't have to go sit in my room and whisper my prayer or even just think it in my mind. I can be bold. I can shout. I can scream if I need to. But, I need to be praying! 

So, if you read this and feel led to do so - please hold me accountable. If you hear me venting about things, or you see me being especially whiny, ask me gently, "Have you prayed for your family lately?" Don't get on my case if I haven't or try to shame me, just gently and lovingly remind me to that before I say another word - or type another letter. Thank you! :-)

Luke 6:31

"Here is a simple rule of thumb for behavior:

Ask yourself what you want people to do for you;

then grab the initiative and do it for them!"

Luke 6:31 (The Message)

I absolutely love the way The Message Bible puts this verse! This is, of course, "The Golden Rule" verse, but the wording of The Message is just so spot on! As a young girl I would ponder over "The Golden Rule", wondering what I should do for others. But, this version gets me to think about what I would want others to do for me. Oh - it's so easy to come up with a list like that! Especially in regards to my relationship with my husband. Here are my top three wants from my spouse:

• I want him to pray over me.
• I want him to hug me more.
• I want him to show more public affection towards me.

The problem with these wants? These things don't come naturally to my husband. They are all things that kids need to see and have shown to them in order to grow up and be able to easily express to others. And my husband's family just wasn't an overtly religious family, nor where they very outwardly affectionate. My own family growing up was affectionate, but we certainly didn't pray together (except at dinner). 

This verse tells me that if I want my spouse to do these things with me, then I need to start by doing them with him. Showing affection to him is a breeze for me - one of my top love languages is physical touch, so I have no problems working on this part of this verse! But, praying over him? That's a little more difficult for me. It helps that I love to pray with people, but for some reason, praying with my husband is different. It's more intimate and vulnerable for me than it is to pray with someone at church. But, I'm trying to do better with this. 

The neat thing is that the more I do it, the less I'm doing it to get it in return. I started out with the hopes that I'd only have to do it for a short while before my husband figured out that he needed to do it back. ;-) But, I'm learning that doing this, with expecting nothing in return, is growing a deep compassion in my heart for those around me. And isn't gaining compassion worth so much more than gaining a few hugs or snuggles?

Joshua 18:3

"Joshua addressed the People of Israel: 

"How long are you going to sit around on your hands, 

putting off taking possession of the land that God, 

the God of your ancestors, has given you?" 

Joshua 18:3 (The Message)

This verse stood out to me. Can we all say, "procrastination"?  ;-) Not that I know anything about this word! *rolling my eyes* I am one of those who works best under pressure, so I'll wait until the last minute to do something before I finally get moving to get it done. However, while I say I work best under pressure, I don't think my BODY works best this way. I can feel the tension build as the deadline for whatever it is I need to do draws closer. I get more demanding of my family and a whole lot less patient. I often wonder what damage I'm doing to my heart by procrastinating so much.

Why do I do this to myself and my family? *sigh*

Sometimes it's because I just don't want to do what needs to be done. It might seem boring to me. Or I committed to something I really didn't want to do in the first place. Sometimes it's because something better comes along and I get distracted. Sometimes it's just because the task at hand is so large! 

We adopted two of our children from Haiti. You know who did almost all the paperwork for our adoption? My husband. Why? Because I was so overwhelmed with it all that I didn't know where to start. Looking back, I could have been a lot more help had I taken the time to sit down and organize what needed to be done. Instead, my poor husband had to work insane hours at his job, then come home and work on getting all the paperwork together that needed to be put together to bring our kids home. I think I owe him an apology. ;-) 

Seriously, though... I can't allow myself to procrastinate just because I'm overwhelmed or because the task isn't "fun". I'm not a kid anymore who has parents to do everything for her. I'm a married woman who is a helper to her husband and I need to start "playing the part". So, to my husband.. thank you for all that you've done for me. I truly do appreciate it. But, it's my turn to help you! Just tell me what to do! 

Lord, help me to stop procrastinating so much and just do what needs to be done.

Proverbs 15: 26

"God can't stand evil scheming,

but he puts words of grace and beauty on display."

Proverbs 15:26 (The Message)

I had a thought while I was reading this verse: Do I put my kids' words of grace and beauty on display? More times than not, I don't. It's so easy, as parents, to see the wrong things our kids do and quickly call them on it. But, how often do we jump on the beautiful things they do? We've all seen the kids who act out negatively because that's the only time they get attention from their parents and they figure negative attention is better than no attention at all. Our kids may not be acting out negatively, but are they hearing that we see and notice the good things they do?

This verse convicted me to start finding something of grace and beauty from my kids' mouths or actions every day. I don't know about you, but I'm quick to forget when I have thoughts like this and by tomorrow I would forget I even decided to do this. This is where my cell phone comes in handy. I'm off to put a reminder in it right now - before I get distracted and forget. If you decide to join me on this, please comment below and share what beautiful things you see your kids doing and saying! And while we're at it - let's focus on the beautiful things our spouses and even our friends do, as well!

Numbers 30:6-8

"When a woman who is living with her husband makes a vow or 
takes a pledge under oath and her husband hears about it but says nothing 
and doesn't say she can't do it, then all her vows and pledges are valid. 
But if her husband cancels them when he hears about them, then none of the 
vows and pledges that she made are binding. Her husband has cancelled them 
and God will release her. Any vow or pledge that she makes that me be to her 
detriment can be either affirmed or annulled by her husband. But if her husband 
is silent and doesn't speak up day after day, he confirms her vows and 
pledges - she has to make good on them. By saying nothing to her when he 
hears of them, he binds her to them. If, however, he cancels them sometime 
after he hears of them, he takes her guilt on himself." 
Numbers 30:10-15 (The Message)

Have you, as a woman, ever committed yourself to do something when you have felt overwhelmed with life as it is? I have. My husband doesn't always intervene - he doesn't hold his authority over my head as a thing of "I HAVE POWER AND YOU WILL DO AS I SAY, WOMAN!" He rarely even speaks up and "lets" me do pretty much what I want. But, there have been times where I've agreed to do something for someone and he has spoken up because for me to follow through with what I said would truly be to my detriment. 

Just tonight, we had a meeting for our daughter's class trip. They needed volunteers to help with fundraising and I was just taking notes left and right for what I was going to help with. He just leaned over and gently whispered, "Jen. Remember you have Mono." So, after the meeting, I spoke to the person in charge and simply said, "I have Mono, but I really want to help out. I have to take things day by day, so if I say I can help out but I have a setback, I'll try to let you know asap, but I may have to cancel last minute at times." (or something to that extent - I can't remember my exact words now.) She completely understood and instead of feeling angry that my husband showed his authority over me, I felt so loved because he was watching out for me and making sure I didn't over-commit myself. 

Ladies, if you're married and your husband grows concerned that you're overdoing it, listen to him. He just might know what he's talking about! 

And girls living at home with your fathers... Numbers 30:3-5 says something to you as well! I challenge you to look it up and really take it to heart. Fathers really do "know best" - especially when they're living under the veil of God.

Proverbs 19:13-14

‎"A parent is worn to a frazzle by a stupid child; 

a nagging spouse is a leaky faucet." 

Proverbs 19:13 (The Message)

"House and land are handed down from parents, 

but a congenial spouse comes straight from God." 

Proverbs 19:14 (The Message)

Yup - there is nothing more wearing than a brilliant child who tries to act like they don't have a brain! LOL And Lord... forgive me for nagging my spouse so much tonight! He IS a gift straight from you - may I never forget that!