What is "Building A House"?

"Building A House" is a blog about my journey back to God. The name comes from Proverbs 24:3-4 (The Message), "It takes wisdom to build a house, and understanding to set it on a firm foundation; it takes knowledge to furnish its rooms with fine furniture and beautiful draperies."

No, this isn't going to be a blog about making my house look pretty - at least not pretty on the OUTSIDE. But, I'm going to be working on getting my house
"pretty" on the SPIRITUAL side. I'm coming back from a pretty dark place in my life after losing 8 babies to miscarriage. This blog is about my journey back
to the Lord.

Monday, March 26, 2012

Luke 6:21b

"God blesses you who weep now,
for in due time you will laugh."
Luke 6:21b

This seems like a good time to share the vision I had while at a Rachel's Vineyard retreat to heal from the loss of my 8 babies to miscarriage...

I was in a dark forest and feeling rather afraid. There were knotted trees everywhere whose roots were sticking up every which way. It was so dark I was afraid to walk for fear of getting hurt by all the things sticking out in my "path". (There really was no path at all.) This part of the forest felt very sad and depressing.

Up ahead, I saw a light so I gingerly walked towards it. I discovered it was a clearing filled with tall, flowing grass and thousands of wildflowers. In the distance, I could see children frolicking around a man. As I walked closer, I could see that the man was Jesus. He was laughing with the children. As he saw me, he beckoned to me, "Come here, sweet child, let me introduce you to your children."

I fell to my knees and suddenly I was being surrounded by a group of children, all laughing and shouting for a chance to hug and kiss me. I began to laugh along with them, as I reached out to touch them and kiss their beautiful faces. We all stood up, held hands in a circle and danced and laughed around Jesus.

Eventually, it was time to go. I wasn't as sad about leaving as I thought I would be. I was sad, yes, but at the same time, I knew I would be seeing them again soon, in the realm of God's time. Jesus began to lead me away, gently holding my hand. With his other hand, he began clearing the trees and pointing out dips in the ground. He knew I would be hesitant due to my knee issues and wanted me to feel safe and secure!

When we left, we didn't go out the dark side, the way we went was only somewhat shaded with strips of sun streaming through the tall trees. At times, I would wander away from the path, but Jesus, ever-so-patiently - waited and watched me carefully, allowing me to take my time and enjoy all that was around me. I would always come back to Jesus and we would walk arm-in-arm, like two dear friends or lovers. We were enjoying each others company, laughing and having an intimate, yet casual conversation with each other.

I've had many times of sorrow in my life. Many tears have been shed, but I did laugh again. I still feel an ache in my heart when I think of the babies I never got to hold, but I know that "in due time", I will be with them in Heaven, laughing with Jesus. 

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