Luke 11:10-13

"Don't bargain with God. Be direct.

Ask for what you need.

This is not a cat-and-mouse, hide-and-seek game we're in.

If your little boy asks for a serving of fish, 

do you scare him with a live snake on his plate?

If your little girl asks for an egg, 

do you trick her with a spider?

As bad as you are, you wouldn't think of such a thing - 

you're at least decent to your own children.

And don't you think the Father who conceived you in love

will give the Holy Spirit when you ask him?"
Luke 11:10-13 (The Message)

I have struggled with this passage in the past. It seemed so much like whatever I asked for, God did the opposite. Especially when it came to being pregnant. I still don't have the answers as to why he answered my prayer to have a healthy baby with the death of so many of my babies, but I do know that when I asked for the Holy Spirit's help, He was there. He carried me through the pain and bitterness that came after the loss of my babies and he has brought me to a new understanding of his love for me. 

Is it fair that I lost so many babies when women who do drugs during their pregnancies or go on to abuse their children got to keep their babies? No. But, do I know God's plan for those babies who were born into this world? No. Who am I to question what he does? God sees everything from a totally different perspective than I do and while I would love to sit down with him and demand to know the answers, I also know that when I get to heaven I will be with my Father and none of this will even matter anymore. I will be with God and that's all that I'll need.