What is "Building A House"?

"Building A House" is a blog about my journey back to God. The name comes from Proverbs 24:3-4 (The Message), "It takes wisdom to build a house, and understanding to set it on a firm foundation; it takes knowledge to furnish its rooms with fine furniture and beautiful draperies."

No, this isn't going to be a blog about making my house look pretty - at least not pretty on the OUTSIDE. But, I'm going to be working on getting my house
"pretty" on the SPIRITUAL side. I'm coming back from a pretty dark place in my life after losing 8 babies to miscarriage. This blog is about my journey back
to the Lord.

Wednesday, January 25, 2012

Mark 4:12

"These are people whose eyes are open but don't see a thing, 
Whose ears are open but don't understand a word,
Who avoid making an about-face and getting forgiven."
Mark 4:12 (The Message)

I have so much I need to say about this verse, but my fingers just don't want to do the typing. Fear is a horrid thing. 

Taking a deep breath...

The last line in this verse really hits home with me tonight. I've stated before that I see a Christian counselor. She's helping me so much in many ways. I have some things from my past that I really struggle with. Things that I can't forgive myself for. Things that I can't ask God to forgive me for. Things that my counselor has said I don't need to seek forgiveness for because I didn't do anything wrong. That opens up a whole can of worms for me. 

I'm not ready to make this all public yet, so I apologize for the cryptic speech...

Taking another deep breath...

My eyes keep going to the words in that last line... "avoid... getting forgiven". 

"Avoid... getting forgiven."

This is one area that has always held me back from feeling truly forgiven for ALL my sins. Was it even a sin or am I believing a lie from Satan? Why am *I* holding on to guilt and shame when God wants me to "get forgiven" and be set free?

I feel the Lord is wanting to open my eyes up about something here. I think I need to end this post and go sit somewhere in quiet...


I just spent the most amazing time in prayer! I'm really feeling like the Lord is moving and is about to work some amazing stuff in my life in regards to what I wrote above! It's so awesome, but also a little frightening. Please pray for me!

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