Matthew 16:24-26

"Anyone who intends to come with me has to let me lead. You're not in 

the driver's seat; *I* am. Don't run from suffering; embrace it. Follow me 

and I'll show you how. Self-help is no help at all. Self-sacrifice is the 

way, my way, to finding yourself, your true self. What kind of deal is 

it to get everything you want but lose yourself? 

What could you ever trade your soul for?" 

Matthew 16:24-26 (The Message)

I think many people take this verse to mean that, as Christians, we're supposed to be door-mats. I believe this line of thinking is entirely false. 

Self-sacrifice leads us to finding our true selves. When we know WHOSE we are, we know he would never call us to be in abusive situations. Being with someone who is abusive actually causes us to LOSE ourselves. Knowing WHOSE we are, we know we are sons and daughters of the Living King and what decent king would sit back and tell his children to allow themselves to be abused? Certainly not God, the Father! 

Does this verse then, mean we aren't to have boundaries with people? That we are to continue to let them hurt us over and over and over again? Absolutely not! Again, when we know WHOSE we are, we find our true selves and we realize that we can set healthy boundaries WITH LOVE.

Self-sacrifice means giving up the things we want - NOT the things we need. Yes, sometimes we're called to give up our shoes or our coats, but more than likely, we don't really NEED those things anyway? How many of us don't have an extra pair of shoes or another coat at home? 

Self-sacrifice is sacrificing that dinner out so that I can buy the homeless lady I saw down the street some decent food. Self-sacrifice is stopping to give an elderly lady a ride in the snow even though that means my kids might have to wait a little bit longer for me to pick them up from school. Self-sacrifice doesn't mean sacrificing my safety at the hands (or the mouths) of abusive people.

Ok, getting off my soapbox now...